Too many times we've been postally pipped.

Haha, what a l-o-l-able lyric from my new beau, Elbow.

Anyway, it's all good. I hope you're good. I am good. I keep having these terrible moments of literary inspiration, where I think of some phrase, idea, sentence of even word which I think of using later, but never write down. I can't remember any of them. Anyway, onwards and upwards. I'll have to keep a pen and notebook on me at all times, and not be lazy when they come to me at night.

Those times of infinite struggle between being nearly asleep and being epically inspired are a nightmare.

Speaking of nightmares, I've had a few. I don't know whether this is normal, but since 'the change' in my marital status, I have been suffering from taunting dreams of the way it was before. Dreams where I end up pleading, and being accepted and things going back to normal. They were sickening, worrying dreams and they stopped me getting on with things for about half an hour every morning. However, the night before last I had a dream where I, in the latter stages of the 'reconciliation' within the dream, said that I didn't want to, mainly because of people's opinion of me being lowered; being perceived as a weakling.

It's important to make clear that fact that I never would do any of the things my earlier dreams depicted.

And so, I thought that perhaps if I continued to dream the dreams until they became dreams of my strength and refusal to return to the previous relationship, I would know that the book was well and truly closed within me.

Last night I dreamt that we were just friends. Straightforward friends, and it led to a half happy, half sad (but prevalently happy) feeling when I woke up. I hope that this means I can progress both in my dreams and in real life; I used to quote Gabrielle's "Dreams can come true", but here it was a case of my own mental state (dreams) cathing up with reality. I feel like they have.

And it's good.
And it's great.

(Euphoria)

Sq.