The cost of inaction, procrastination.
What if I fail? What if I miserably fail to reach the bar they set? It's so easy. Every day that passes I get closer to falling, to failing and being a disappointed disappointment.
The 19th of August 2009; I won't sleep.
The 20th August 2009; Will decide my fate.
Of all the writers I'd love to study, how many would agree with me feeling so completely shit just for wanting to study them with people as enthusiastic as me, and learn from people who know so much more than me? Is it right to be able to give me such uncompromising criteria to meet to study the works of humans like myself, when those works are available to every man?
Not that I wish to devalue the degree. I want more than anything to learn from the experts, to become an expert myself. I suppose I want it so much that it's easier to deny that I can get it, in case I don't.
I guess I'm just terrified of falling short.
And I really hate History A-Level.
Sq.
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